sometimes you can have a thought or an idea it wont matter how you say it, or how many times you say it..sometimes people just don’t get it. it’s funny how we all perceive ourselves, our minds and our thoughts. we justify things to how we know and later we might know more and change our thoughts or maybe just grow in arrogance.

it amuses me and kinda makes me wonder why do people think they are so right? people can be so sure even of what they dont know. some sort of bias takes over

so anyway whenever i have some thoought or idea i’ll blog and keep people updated

peace

Like any other day marriage is a struggle but it is also moments of happiness. Marriage is good but not always.

The concept and ideologies of marriage are good. Being with someone who is lawful for you, share stories/ thoughts/ fears/happiness etc, grow with someone with prosperity, raise children, deal with struggles together have company through your ages..

It’s nice right? Who wouldn’t want something like that? someone to give them company, challenge them, grow with them, compliment them etc etc. People are social beings so the concept of marriage is great.

In reality, marriage like any relationship can be a struggle. No one needs to be married to see this. Not everyone is willing to compromise, not every couple shares the same/similar values. Disputes are bound to happen, 2 different minds 2 different ideas.  Lack of communication, unknown expectations, resent due to lack of “efforts” in the relationship.. many things.

It’s all normal. But there can be a point when it’s intolerable or disrespectful or just not working. That’s when marriage isn’t good, that’s when i’d say marriage isn’t worth it.

Can people live without being married and be happy? Sure. People value different things but personally i think marriage is a good thing even in this age.

The thoughts, the worries, the possibilities. A combination of criticism and lack of trust.

Does fear or will take over?

We’re taught to be contented with what we are taught and not to question things such as girls do this, boys do that, this is prohibited and this is permissible. no questions asked.

I remember a while back having a discussion with my bro about shia’s and sunni’s and he said to me “having an ounce of doubt is a sign of weak faith, something very dangerous”. I was scared.. did I doubt my faith? So ok I doubted practices so did that mean my faith was weak, I tried to tell myself I was being irrational and I just didn’t know any better. But I really did doubt practices and tried rationalising them but still disagreed.

Before I was scared of having weak faith but actually now that I think of it questioning things should only strengthen faith if it is true or in confluence with ones morals/logic/thoughts. Why would God punish the ones who are doubtful? Why would it be dangerous? I guess it would be dangerous if one totally rebels because they’d be a social outcast in the community but otherwise everything seems so pretentious “this is the way things are done, that’s acceptable, that’s not”.  It’s like the community impedes in our autonomy for the sake of blind following acceptance.

Why would God want us to be pretentious? Like Malcolm X says the yardstick by how a person is measured is not by their colour (or their looks) but their deeds their actions. IF only Muslims actually started to recognise this, they preach it but I’d say hardly any practice it. I guess it’s hard to fight prejudice and stereotypes that have been fed but at least we can try.

So I’ve come to the belief that the headscarf isn’t an obligation.. you know I feel so weird. I love the scarf I guess because I’m so used to it but it’s hard to explain..

Automatically I’m identified as muslim, so it’s cool people know I am muslim and it’s like a self reminder for me to be good. And when you see other muslims they give salam to you it’s like you get this exclusive connection because they know you’re muslim. I wonder if I wore a necklace with “Allah” on it like most people do as fashion, would people do the same? Maybe if they were close enough maybe not..

You know when a girl wears a scarf everyone congratulates her, feels proud of her, thinks she’s developing more spiritually even if she knows absolutely nothing! It’s like the day she didn’t wear it she needs hidaya (guidance) and the next day she wears it it’s like wow shes got guidance!! From what I have seen headscarf decision isn’t an overnight decision.. and well wouldn’t she have obviously had some spiritual growth/connection for wanting to wear it? but I wore it as a kid, so I get “god loves her, she got guidance as a kid”. Ah it frustrates me like as if hijab makes me good or bad.

At school there was this girl (anglo white non-muslim) she was.. a delinquent..  slept with guys, had lesbian moments, did drugs all sorts of stuff anyway a month later she comes to school in a scarf with her school uniform (short skirt and shirt, looked so funny but she had stockings) and all the muslim girls coop up around her and start talking to her congratulating her. From the biggest bad mouth gossip to “WOW” shes so good now. I mean sure people make mistakes do stupid things and god is most forgiving but it’s funny to observe how attitudes completely spin, especially with a converts.. I’m not sure what happened to her now.

It’s pretty bad how judgmental people are. I mean if I took it off people wouldn’t say I stepped backwards they’d say I lost the plot completely and I’d be worse than a delinquent tart, over a piece of material. Amazing isn’t it? It’s odd how appearance can mean so much to others..

Sometimes I think, I wish I could be normal like everyone. Not to be thought of as a muslim or anything just another person valued for my actions… but I feel guilty as well.. quranically there isn’t a headscarf obligation but I know Christians are supposed to cover, even Jews.. they shave their hair and wear wigs!? Kinda defeats the purpose but anyway. I dunno why but I kinda rationalise my wearing it with their views which is sooooo not me.. I mean that’s the only thing I use to back up me wearing it :/ well other than culture..  maybe it makes me feel better that way or not so guilty. But I just feel guilty thinking I will lose people’s respect without it and no one will take me seriously. at least people respect me and take me seriously because of the scarf. I throw that respect with a piece of material? The thought is almost traumatising.

I wish people could see beyond the clothing, beyond the body.. but maybe that is it, people just don’t care they just want to conform to “normal” social norms. It’s hard to change especially if it requires actions against the norms sometimes even thinking is too hard for some people…

So for the time being I’m like stuck with this identity to keep my reputation, my comfort and guilt for thinking maybe I just wanna show off, my pleasure in being identified as a muslim and well I guess just comfort.

5:48 (Asad) And unto thee [O Prophet] have We vouchsafed this divine writ, setting forth the truth, confirming the truth of whatever there still remains of earlier revelations and determining what is true therein. [64]Judge, then, between the followers of earlier revelation in accordance with what God has bestowed from on high, [65] and do not follow their errant views, forsaking the truth that has come unto thee. Unto every one of you have We appointed a [different] law and way of life. [66] And if God had so willed, He could surely have made you all one single community: but [He willed it otherwise] in order to test you by means of what He has vouchsafed unto, you. [67] Vie, then, with one another in doing good works! Unto God you all must return; and then He will make you truly understand all that on which you were wont to differ. [68]

I may be taken it out of context I’m just rambling thoughts in my head. at the end we all return to God and God will judge us on our differences but our ultimate criteria is Quran, and some people seem to interpret things with addition to Quran or maybe just spin their own interpretation based on their past practices. Which isn’t necessarily bad but it’s not exactly right either… the way of Ibrahim is the way forward the way of reflection not the blind acceptance of forefathers practices. So I guess it’s important to discern why one holds a particular disposition and whether this diversity/position is actually justifiable.

Are ahl kitab only limited to “non-Muslims” couldn’t muslims fit the criteria also? I was just thinking about the verse 3:64:

3:64 (Asad) Say: “O followers of earlier revelation! Come unto that tenet which we and you hold in common: [49] that we shall worship none but God, and that we shall not ascribe divinity to aught beside Him, and that we shall not take human beings for our lords beside God.” [50] And if they turn away, then say: “Bear witness that it is we who have surrendered ourselves unto Him.”

Why can’t believers/muslims come to common terms? For example didn’t shura happen. Kinda like maybe a voting/open forum discussion to agree on things.. I feel as if the Quran doesn’t see diversity as a hindrance (rather we do cos our insecurities) but it’s rather an advantage to embrace or at least tolerate.

I found out when you wake up in the morning before you eat your insulin levels are low, so if you exercise you’re likely to burn off the fat in your body.

So there’s a tip, thought i’d share

Foods that contain iodine include salmon, seaweed, seafood, lima beans, eggs and potatoes.

http://www.quickhairlosstreatment.com/hair-articles/iodine-and-hair-loss.html

Syrian style:

This serves a big family so you may want to half the portions

Ingredients

8 bunches of snake beans (each bunch had 15 strands roughly), chop about 2cm/inch apart. Remember to wash! + 2 cups water to accompany the snake beans

1 onion finely chop

500g of minced meat

1teaspoon of garlic

2 spoons dukkah* (optional) or 1 teaspoon chilli/chilli powder/chilli paste (this just adds flavour it is not hot)

1 cup rice

1 ½ cup water

Salt to taste 1 spoon.

*Dukkah is basically a dip, it includes minced red capsicums, walnuts, onion, onion and tahina sauce (sesame seed sauce) if I make it in future I will post a recipe this is how it looks:

METHOD

1. Fry onion and minced meat in olive oil (or whatever oil you have) once the water + oil has absorbed into the meat add the garlic + dukkah or chilli paste/powder/spice.
2. Add snake beans and sift pot or use spoon to mix up the snake beans with the meat (even distribution) add 2 cups of water and cover
3. Cover and Cook for 10mins occasionally stirs so the snake beans get cooked all around not just bottom, if it needs a bit longer, take longer you should know by the colour it should go darker.
4. Add 1 cup rice plus 1 ½ cups of water and salt. Stir and keep on low heat for 20-30mins

SERVE

The over production of DHT causes the hair follicle to shrink and die because DHT impedes nutrients from going to the hair follicle. I’m not sure what causes the over production of it.. the process is slow so generally people would have thinning hair, patches, baldness.

So I guess if people have hair thinning/loss you probably have DHT issues, off course a doctor would know better. But there are ways to slow the DHT process.

I read that if you apply olive oil on your scalp it will reduce or slow down DHT process. Though I can’t seem to find a reputable site on this.

Ways to slow DHT process naturally:

Saw Palmetto extract

Saw palmetto is commonly known for men with prostate issues however, it slows the DHT production and inhibits the DHT to be absorbed in the cells that reap it. most health food stores sell it

See this for more info:

http://www.sawpalmettouses.com/baldness.html

In Australia, I found this:

http://www.totallynatural.com.au/totally_natural_hair_more.htm

It’s a topical and oral tablet vitamin which contains saw palmetto.

The former site also mentions zinc

Zinc

Low levels of zinc elevate DHT levels.

Zinc also prevents dandruff, so eat some oysters! (EW!) or pumpkin seeds http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=82

Green Tea

I’ve read mixed views about it and DHT though apparently DHT is created from cholesterol or has links with it..

“cholesterol is involved in the process of neurogenesis and also the base material from which the body ultimately manufactures DHT”

http://www.psoriasiscafe.org/baldness-definition.htm

So if we can reduce cholesterol which green tea does than possibly we will reduce formation of DHT.

Soy beans

Inhibits DHT, see:

http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=79#healthbenefits

see:

http://www.hairloss-reversible.com/articles/hm14.htm

More info on DHT blockers can be seen here:

http://www.add-hair.com/dht-blockers.htm